There are countless infertility stories- many, I’m sure far greater than ours but, nevertheless, equally touching!
Ours began years ago, immediately after tying the knot, we began to tackle the “getting pregnant” process. Much to our surprise, it wasn’t going to be as easy as it seemed. We found ourselves without success, months down the road, broken, hopeless, and asking the thousands of “why” questions. If you have ever struggled with infertility, you know all too well what I’m talking about. We decided to seek advice from a local fertility doctor, and began the messy journey with him, in hopes of getting that double line that we so desired. Yet again, months of pills, scans, visits, and prayer, we were in what seemed like a bad dream that we couldn’t wake from. No double line, no pregnancy announcement, and worst of all, no desire to continue! We decided to take a break! After all, maybe we were messing up God’s plan, by demanding immediate results. Not long after our decision to just “pause”, and allow God to do what He does best, I came down very ill, resulting in a nine day hospital stay. I had Bacterial Meningitis and my body was septic- very sick I was! During my hospital stay, my body fought with everything it had to regain health. It was a trying process for sure. What a day it was when I was finally released to finish treatments from home on my own. I’m not going to sugar-coat it, fear gripped my heart. And again, thousands of those “why” questions. When I went back for a follow-up with the infectious disease doctor, they had found spots in my lungs and decided to do a procedure to biopsy it. During the procedure, the decision was made not to do the biopsy because they couldn’t get to the right area safely. In the mean time, they referred me to KC to a specialist to properly diagnose whatever was attacking my lungs.
During the weeks of waiting, I prayed and fasted, believing that God would do a miracle in my body, by healing whatever this was. Let me tell you, He did just that!
My husband and I, along with a couple others, made the trip together to the KC pulmonologist to find out just how all of this was going to go down. During our visit with the doctor, he diagnosed the problem, explained that the pregnancy would clear up my lungs, and everything would be just fine! What? Like how?!? Though it was great news, I was in such shock that I of course began questioning.
By the end of the appointment we were all crying! God knew what He was doing all along and His timing is truly impeccable! Not only did He have His hand upon me through the whole process, but He knew what the future held. He loved me too much to give me the desires of my heart in any other time than the perfect time!
Friend, God’s ways are far greater than ours, and my thoughts of how my body would be healed were certainly NOT His! Today, my lungs are still completely healed, and we have a precious three year old little boy, Beckham Baylor! He is our miracle! I want to encourage you by saying, the process of becoming a mother doesn’t look the same for us all, but once it’s obtained, it should be valued by all!
I would love to tell you that my infertility journey ended that day, but it’s just not so. The process of conception over the last three years has been what seems like déjà vu with what we endured the first time around-only worse. Not only have we not had a successful pregnancy, but in addition, we have endured two miscarriages, both within a few months of each other. Have you ever heard the good ole saying “God won’t ever give you more than you can handle”? Yah, me too! FALSE!! Yes, I said it! It’s not true! We do encounter more than what we {within our own strength} can handle! The good news is, the Bible tells us that when we are weak, He is strong within us!
I think of Jesus in the garden crying out to the Father, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will. ” If we were to be honest with each other, I’m sure we would agree we’ve all had a “take this from me” moment (especially during this Corona chaos). I'm also certain that when presented with such circumstances, we cannot handle them on our own. This is where God steps in and gives us the perfect measure of strength and faith to come out victorious, which ultimately results in Him receiving all the glory! In fact, when we know it was only by God’s grace that we escaped, we’re more likely to share our testimony and spread the good news of who Jesus is, and what He has done for us (even when we are undeserving) with others!
The bible also tells us to count it all joy when we meet trials of various kinds, for we know that it’s a testing of our faith, and ultimately God is producing something within us! Yes, I am disappointed that our {baby journey} hasn’t gone as I planned it, but, I wholeheartedly trust in the Lord, for He has never failed me yet! I know that He is never late and He has what’s in my best interest on His mind. For now — we just wait.
I can promise you one thing, this trial has challenged me in many ways, and caused me to set my will aside, accepting that God’s will is much greater; His plans for me are still good! Even more now so than ever, I understand what a miracle that our sweet Beckham really is! So, dear friend, cherish what God has gifted you with! There is always something to be thankful for!
Today, I pray a special prayer for those of you who are encountering struggles within your own infertility journey. May the God of hope come along side you and guide you through to victory. I pray, in God's perfect timing, your prayer be answered and blessings be released unto you! I ask that God would pour out His grace and wrap His loving arms around you, bringing much comfort through difficult seasons of your life! Most importantly, I pray your relationship with Him be ever strengthened and may God be glorified in the end!
In His Grip,
Sarah Abernathy
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