I was visiting with a friend on the phone not long ago, and as we were deep in conversation about life circumstances, I had a thought...
What I wouldn't give to go back in time and relive those moments; the ones where my deepest regrets come from.
I began just letting memories flood my mind of relationships that I caused harm in, bridges that I burned, and areas of my life where I had let offense root deep down and take the place of where beauty once was. Man, can I just be honest here and say that I was literally sick to my stomach pondering on how differently I would have done so many things in my life had I been given the chance to relive them. Can you relate? I would bet that most of us can say there has been a time or two in our lives where we have made a bad decision, or said the wrong words in which we would do anything to be given the chance to correct it. I can think of several myself, but the mistake that cuts the deepest in my life is not one that I spoke ill words in, but instead the void of words that should have been spoken.
It's true that after you graduate high school the friends that were once near and dear to us will simply become acquaintances. Like it or not, distance has a way of causing separation due to a number of reasons including college and career choices. That was the very case with one of my greatest high school friends-my cousin in fact. We were not only separated by distance but we also lived different lifestyles. My lack of communication with her was not a result of not loving her but it was simply due to the pitiful, but often true, excuse we give of being too busy; not having my priorities straight. Never in a million years would I have dreamed that her life would be taken at the young age of 25 (Insert jaw drop here). How? Why? What? The questions began to pour out of my mouth to The Father who creates all, knows all, and comforts all. Then almost immediately, the feelings of guilt and shame came flooding faster than I could even comprehend that she had passed away-gone-never to be seen here on this Earth again. Even if I wanted to call, visit, or simply hug her neck, the option was no longer available to me. I now would only be able to see her headstone. You see, the enemy doesn't play fair. He comes to kill, steal, and destroy while taking out anyone and everyone that he can (John 10:10). During situations like these he doesn't allow time for grieving, gathering, or much less, for the initial shock to disappear before he ferociously attacks our minds with thoughts of how we caused this, how we could have prevented it, and how we will live with the burden of it forever. You see, I allowed the thoughts of the enemy to come in and weigh me down. The guilt of not writing, calling, and visiting sunk in deeper than what I would like to admit. But you see, God is the only one who can bring peace that surpasses all understanding in a time such as this. There is redemption through Christ. He is the comforter, the healer, not just of our physical bodies, but also of our minds and emotions. He took the guilt and the shame away and I now have peace knowing that I will see her again one day and not one tear will be shed, every sin will be wiped away.
Friend, I don't know if you have been in a situation quite like this before but I am certain that you have been in one in which you have regrets. It could be a relationship that didn't end on good terms, years of silence with a family member who caused you great disappointment, or even vomiting words during a heated argument that can never be unheard. I have good news, whatever the situation, though the feeling or thought of wishing we could go back and relive the moment differently might never go away, you can find hope in knowing that Jesus extends grace and forgiveness can be given. We can learn from past mistakes and use wisdom to do better the next time, even if our next time is not here on this Earth but in Heaven instead. I plead with you, when you feel a small tug to write that letter, make that phone call, or visit that friend, don't ignore it. Live a life in which you forgive often, love always, and make every effort to be the best you that you can be.
God, thank you that I can lean on you for help during times of trouble and grief. Life isn't always easy but serving you sure makes it easier to face difficult circumstances that come our way. I pray that we would give more thought to where our time and energy is spent. Let us not live this life here on Earth with regrets and when regrets do come let us lay them at your feet and receive freedom! May we be slow to anger, quick to forgive, and be willing to love others as you love us! -Amen
In His Grip,
Sarah Abernathy
Comments