YES! Yes I am!
When we found out we were expecting, I was overjoyed, but, I was also overwhelmed by all of the different options of “things” that I had to make decisions on!
Cloth or disposable?
Breastfeeding or formula?
Co-sleep or crib sleep?
The list went on and on and on! Guess what? There is still a list for so many decisions that I have to make for my child and he is almost three! I am constantly bombarded with choices and depending on how I make them molds me for what type of mother I am! And the truth is- it’s ok that all of us moms make different decisions on how to raise OUR children!
Growing up my mother was a stay-at-home mom. All day long cooking, cleaning, laundry, tidying up the house, prepping for a home-cooked meal EVERY night, and thats just to name a few!! She opened her home many of nights and fed friends, family, and neighbors and had weekend gatherings of fellowship more times than I can count! Our home was always filled with love and joy!! Though I know it had to be physically, mentally, and emotionally draining, I never heard her complain about her role as a mother!! With that being said, I had always wanted to be the opposite- though my career path changed many of times, I knew I wanted to be a career mom.
As I got older, my hearts’ desire was to be a stay at home mom. So— lots of prayer later... I am BOTH! I am a career mother who takes her child to work everyday! I truly have the best of both worlds! However, I don’t value either choice greater than the other. You see, both roles are needed! There is room for the stay at home mom as well as the career mom!
The soccer mom, the strict mom, the push over mom, the clingy mom, the homeschool mom, the public school mom, the not sure where my kids are even at mom, the organized mom, the messy mom, the homemade meals mom, the drive through at 10pm mom, the... you get the picture! I am sure that each and every one of you have been criticized at some point for a decision or two that you have made regarding motherhood!! Why? Why do we always feel like we have to constantly compare our lives as a mother to others around us? I appreciate your concerns, as do others I’m sure, but I don’t need anybody hovering over me to control my every move. I pray daily and ask God for direction in nearly every decision I make as a wife and a mother. Do I always obey? I can’t say so, but in the times I don’t listen to that still small voice, and do what I so desire instead, it never turns out good. I get back up, ask forgiveness, and listen the next time. It’s all trial and error. It’s hoping we make the right decision and when we do make that wrong one we pray that it doesn’t have a detrimental affect on our child’s future. Regardless, it’s still not our job to judge other mothers parental decisions.
Guess what? It’s ok that Sally’s kids didn’t match at church- maybe the real reason is that she was up all night wondering how her family was going to make ends meet that she didn’t get all the laundry cleaned in time? You know that mother that allowed her child to throw a fit in the Walmart parking lot- maybe she was at her wits-end and feared disciplining in a state of anger. Even if these aren’t the reasons behind why some moms act and react the way that they do, let’s have some grace. After all, you weren’t called to be the mother of THEIR children, you were called to be the mother of YOURS!
Let’s all be honest here, I’m sure there has been a time in which your child has had that ice cream sandwich for breakfast, the candy before dinner, went barefoot in public, or thrown a fit until you caved and gave them what they wanted (Especially during the terrific twos) LOL!
My mom used to always tell me- pick your battles. Some just aren’t worth fighting. Well, right now during this stage of life, it rings so loud and true with my precious toddler! There are days where my heart is so full I can’t imagine there being any more room to love anyone else! Then there are days where I want to pull my hair out and bedtime can’t come soon enough! I KNOW you can relate to that if you have been a mom for any amount of time! But no matter which one of those days I am having, the thought of life before my children is such a dark empty one! What did I ever do before them? It’s hard for my mind to even fathom it!
I think it’s safe to say that the bottom line is mothers wear many different hats and motherhood can look different for us all; but we all LOVE our children like there’s no tomorrow and we are all just doing the best we know how! I’m sure you have had days like I have where the enemy speaks so loudly in my ear of all the areas that I am failing in, but, oh am I glad that I serve a God who reminds me daily just how loved I am! He tells me that I am called and chosen for this gift of motherhood! He gives me the strength to get through each and everyday! He is my rock and my salvation! And I pray that I can train up my children in the ways of The Lord so that one day when they become mothers, {and fathers}, they will train up theirs in The Lord too- as well as have the freedom to make decisions that they see fit for the children they dearly love!
Friend, rest assured today, that though motherhood is probably the toughest endeavor you will ever be a part of, when you walk through life watching your child achieve every milestone, it makes all the blood, sweat, and tears worth it. Whether it’s their first words, first scored basket, or first love. Whether it’s preschool graduation or college graduation. Whether is achieving the A-B honor roll or making the Dean’s List. Finally, whether it’s being “that” mom or the “other” mom- know that every effort, every prayer, and every choice you made while raising them had an impact in the end result!
In His Grip,
Sarah Abernathy
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